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The issue of jealousy is a big one for most couples, because it has the potential to cause great damage to a relationship. Whilst there are plenty of people who assume that it functions as an indication of love and affection, this is simply not true and jealous lovers are likely to drive their partners away.

The problem with jealousy is that it stems from extremely negative emotions, even if it does appear to be linked with love. For the most part, it originates with personal insecurities and issues with the self. It is not uncommon, for example, for a chronically jealous partner to be hiding a crippling fear of not being good enough.

Dealing with Personal Insecurities

It is this fear which causes them to go into overdrive, monitoring every conversation that they have with the opposite sex and getting very angry if they spend too much time with friends or family. This manifests itself in pettiness, rage, resentment, and even violence in some cases. The bottom line is that jealousy simply is not regular part of a healthy relationship.

The alternative (and the healthy way to approach love) is to first take a long look at yourself and realize that you are responsible for your own insecurities. If you get jealous because your partner is talking to a member of the opposite sex, and you believe that they are more attractive than you, you must recognize the fact that this is your issue.

If there is no indication that your partner has any intention of straying outside the relationship, you absolutely cannot punish them for talking to, interacting with, or spending time alongside an individual that you feel inferior to. The chances are if directly asked, your partner would express genuine disbelief at the notion that they would ever find anybody else more attractive than you.

Introducing a Little Honesty

And herein lays the key to relationship success – honesty. There is nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable or insecure in a relationship sometimes, but you have to have a channel of communication which allows you to express it, otherwise it will be bottled up and let out at the wrong time. It is certainly not a crime to be jealous, but it is poor form to make your partner pay for it.

If you ever feel yourself struggling with feelings of jealousy, sit your partner down and talk to them about it. Whilst you should not make accusations or throw blame around for anything, it can be very helpful and soothing to openly express fears that you might lose them – precisely because they will then reiterate the fact that you have no reason at all to be worried.